So today did not go as I wanted, things happen for reasons, God is directing my path even though I am resisting going forward with what must be. This is that kind of writing that I dread, where truths leave me with an open wound for all to see. But then again we all have wounds, healing at different times, different depths. Some of us require help with our wounds, others sit off to themselves and let them fester, and then they split open harming more people and doing more harm to themselves than they know. My would fall under that category in between needing help and sitting and festering. You see when I get a wound I write, I write so fast and hard all the rhythmic pounding of each and every key releases just a little of that wound, it is cleansed with soul searching how could I have done something different, if I would have said this??? but in the end I still have my wound, it still causes me pain, heartache, and sleep loss sometimes. Will it heal, yes with time. Do I have to find a way to heal it?? Do I need to cover it ? How about some salve? Will I need stitches? Friendships and marriage are like wounds, we can aide them by being there for one another or we can sit and let things fester. Husbands and wives are good at this festering once and awhile. We say something that gets turned around and all of the sudden you are yelling at each other and one storms off….then we lay low for a day maybe longer then we go on like nothing happens yet the wound is still there, it needs attention! So we try to bring it up and they brush us aside, yet in our heart we know this must get out or it will continue to eat at us. So you maybe try to bring it up differently and suddenly there is the pivotal moment of yep this wound will be ok now…just needs some time.
If you are like me, and I think the ones that catch my post are a lot like me, we open ourselves up time and time again only to be wounded, knocked down, and hurt. Then there is that turning point and our wound heals…but the thing that no one tells us about when we heal is that wounds can leave scars, horrible, icky scars, scars that we want to cover up, not let others see, we wish deep in our hearts there is a cure for them….
There is its Jesus, you don’t have to carry those wounds and scars all by yourself, He chose to die for your soul, to save you from this world. Our battle is not ours to wage, give it over and the healing your soul makes is so wonderful that scars can be erased.
I can’t pick up anyone else’s wounds or scars, I can’t even help them carry them, but what I can do as a CHRISTIAN is come along side of them, give them encouragement, tell them they are a wonderful gift, an amazing person, that the strength they show is a great wellstone of encouragement. That we look to them to see if they can do it so can we, I look at others sometimes and wonder could I do a simple day in their life? Would I be strong enough to carry their personal wounds and scars? Is it something you have ever found yourself thinking. How can she keep doing what she does when that other person/spouse just stabbed them in the back…again?
That is when I lay the worlds troubles at the foot of the cross, I can’t do it by myself I would have been in a hospital long ago in a little padded room if I continued to carry the wounds inflected upon me. I have always been a bit heavier than most, doesn’t bother me like it did when I was young…you see I am a working eater, ok I see many of you going what??? I get the munchies when I am working I sit for hours and I have the biggest sweet tooth, and goodness knows you can’t just eat part of a candy bar, or just a few chips, but I have gotten better in recent months didn’t have a can of pringles in my drawer until Monday of this week LOL but this is ad week so its always a bit tougher. Kids in school teased me, called me “thunder thighs” but I had Jesus so entrenched by the 2nd grade that it didn’t matter what anyone said. My aunts, grandmother and my mom were/are wise women who loved the Lord and taught me to do that as well, my aunt Julianne was a cook in a convent, when she came home for breaks we my three aunts and my grandma would pack up and head to a park for a picnic. Some of my greatest times were when we would get back to grandma’s house and stay up late playing cards, she asked me how school was I was 10 (lets just say that year did not agree with me) I told her all about the mean things kids said to me. She said isn’t Jesus my friend inside my heart? I said yes, she said then why am I carrying things that don’t belong to me? I looked at her with a puzzled look she giggled (I miss her laugh) and then she spoke a truth into my heart that stayed, no earthly thing can hurt you child, you are heaven bound. I asked her what she meant. She continued, you see that door, yep as i gazed over at it. If a bad person came in that door right now and said you were ugly would you believe him/her? No I said I would look in a mirror, and if he/she walked in behind you while looking in that mirror and said the same thing would you believe him/her then? I said no because I would see the little sparkle in my blue eyes and the way my nose is perfect for my face, and how my smile lights up my face. It’s the same thing sweetie, the bad things those kids are saying are just like that bad person, they are trying to come between you and Jesus, they want you to plant seeds of doubt and worthlessness where there should only be joy and happiness. If you have Jesus he died for all sins, and just because someone is throwing sin your way doesn’t mean you pick it up and carry it, you leave it lay and walk on, for heaven is our true home and when we get there no one will throw sin at you ever again. You understand that? I said oh yes, Jesus is my porter, maid and chauffeur all in one. She giggled, that is a great way to put it…he is here right in our hearts all we have to do is leave the bag for him to pick up…
My life has been full of bags left and forgotten, along the way there have been some that I tried to carry but the weight just became unbearable, so I dropped them, my wounds along the way have been many also but by scars have faded with time, and when I reach heaven I won’t have any wounds or scars left He will have cleansed them all away.
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’