Caring · Christ · Divorce · Love · Marriage · One Man One Woman · Wisdom

Thru the wringer and across the coals!!!!

First off I want to say sorry for not posting sooner but had some stuff to sort out.  I am back and posts will be coming more often now.  On that note:

Does marriage have to be hard?  Can’t it ever be uncomplicated and easy sailing?  I think if more people fought for marriage instead of just giving up there would be many more happy people in our country. You made a covenant with that person to love them and only them, so why do you want to walk away.  You think it’s just easier to leave, lick your wounds and get back into the dating game…maybe Mr. or Mrs. right are just your next date.

Well wake up people, you married for life, not for ease and convenience, if you say it’s just too hard, then let me tell you nothing can be too hard that you can not get through.  Did Noah say the ark was too hard to build well he did, but then God told him he could do it and he did.  Did Moses tell God that he was not the right man for the job, he did, but God used him in a big way and freed his people from Egypt. So you think your marriage is just too much, that you can not work it out, that is just your cop-out.     MARRIAGE is a job, just like bringing home a paycheck, you have to work at it, change it, and even fire it once and awhile, that’s right I said FIRE IT, give it a pink slip!!!!  You know it’s not working, try some other way to make it work!  Give in, or better yet rehire in a different attitude.  In fact you may want to get a GOD-itude.

That’s right a GOD-itude in a marriage is key!!!!  Without your focus on Him who can do all things through you, you are just two people struggling to make it work, but if you focus on God first the rest comes naturally.  The way God intended it to be.  For He is the one that gave us marriage (covenant of ONE Man & ONE Woman) together to help each other, to compliment each other, to cover each others shortfalls, not to hinder one another, to blend together so when others look at you they don’t see 2 individual people but one union of marriage unshakable by the winds of society.  No one sees the stuff in the background to make it all happen.  Just like a Broadway production no one sees the hours and days spent working to get every line just right, every light to shine on just the right person at the right time.  Marriage is the same with all the behind the scenes caring for each other, loving on one when one is ill, enjoying life and the joys it brings, being strong for each other but most of all picking each other up instead of knocking each other down.

So if you are one to  pre-think it’s not working then that is just like saying it’s already not working…therefore you give up…now if you look at marriage with a different game plan, or like in football a different play or even a new playbook then would you get a different outcome.  That is what GOD brings to a marriage, a new playbook,  He can send you for that perfect touchdown pass if you let Him in.

I can say my marriage has not been easy for we have been through so much together, even cancer of our 3rd child. Could I handle hearing those words you would be better off without me.  No and I don’t wish for anyone to hear those words but there are those that give into the “NORM” of society and give up.  On that same note, sometimes I think we become to familiar with our spouse that nothing is new.  And we being human love to see new things, think new thoughts, discover new ideas, so do something to change, instead of ranting and raving at him for not doing something –  GET CALM and thank him for something he did do!!!  Yep, praise him for doing dishes (even though he loaded the dishwasher wrong and you think you can do it the only way that gets the dishes clean) hold your tongue!!!  Pray for a change in your spouse, a change in you and in your marriage!!  Pray that God can help you, to open your mind up to a different path or way of thinking and get you to the other side and that together you will make it.

Start with a lot of talking (and I mean tears, sobs and gut twisting talking not the FLUFF that some people think is communication), and issue solving if something is bothering you then make a game plan together to solve that issue.  Enjoy each other every day and put God between you both.  Try a chart on the fridge, say or do one positive thing for each other everyday, and don’t stop!  If one of you start to slip the other spouse can call them on it and not be reprimanded for it, even though it will not be easy it will be worth it.

And now almost 4 months out from our PINK SLIP,  yep we gave each other a pink slip we knew we were not doing each other any good.  But now we are doing great, (and only by God’s grace are we still together for we had a lot to come through) our love was there it just need a little fanning to create the flame that had been there but we almost let it go out because WE stopped trying.  Keep pushing on, its worth it.

Jeremiah 29:6
Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.

This is why I truly believe  MARRIAGE can only be done in ONE MAN & ONE WOMAN relationship.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

And to those petty enough to try to ruin a MARRIAGE, you will get your reward someday too…but then that is another post for another day.

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